well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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