Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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