Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
