It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
