is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
