And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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