i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
