well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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