If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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