dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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