I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
