Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
