after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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