Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
