So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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