That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize