I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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