they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
