is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
