No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
