So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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