I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
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