you would pick up someone in the library
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
