Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
you will always have a special place in my vag
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
