I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
