I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
