Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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