I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
