You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
