Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
