Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
she looked like the before picture.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
