come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Randomize
