YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
