so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
