I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
