proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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