you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I need a beard to bite.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize