I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
