no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She told me I should be a condom model.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
