dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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