She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
