somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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