my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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