I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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