She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
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