At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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