you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Randomize
