Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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