hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
