Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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