thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
