I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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