I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
