I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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