The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
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