Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
