A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
