Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
