She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize