She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
