Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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