All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
My hand turned me down
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
barbara walters just said penis...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
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